Fur for days

I’ve made the joke often enough on hook-up apps: I’ve got fur for days. Look at this chest and shoulders, what else am I supposed to say?

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Fortunately, Confabulation has given me the chance to get up on stage and talk about my journey with my body hair. It has been a long and winding road to acceptance and I’m proud to share my experiences tonight at the Phi Centre!

To get ready, I’ve been walking around my empty apartment telling the story to myself while my cats judge me. Absurd! They’re far furrier than I am.

I have printed a second run of “pumpkin smut latte” and opened an Etsy shop since people exist in places other than Montreal. The virtual storefront looks a little lonely with only one zine available for the moment, but I am working to get “hairy slutsmas” ready as early as possible. Slowing the process somewhat is my waffling on whether a second story is necessary—I think I need to play with layout before I can make that decision.

It’s very interesting to have complete control over the product from start to finish, to be the one who gets to decide whether one more sheet (four more pages) will make a better zine, or will it be too crowded? I have an idea for a cute and intimate story centred on a feeling, which I would totally share here but I prefer to keep a few secrets on platforms like these.

Best option? I’ll do a freewrite and see how I feel afterward.

There are only three chapters remaining in the outline for my novel! I can sense feelings rising to the surface; I have only completed one rough draft of a novel before, and I definitely had to take some time to recover from the overwhelming rush of emotion. I already get emotional thinking about the nearly 60,000 words I’ve written so far! the corners of memory I’ve explored! and the fact that I may have to write several versions of the ending to strike the right balance!

Nothing to do but get in there and write it. I won’t know which way to end the novel is best until I try.

 

Seasons of lust

“pumpkin smut latte” is out, it’s printed, and it’s already time to order more?! I’m down to four copies and two of those are spoken for, so I definitely need to replenish my stock!

Special thanks to Christina la Catastrophe and Marie Cornellier! Christina got me into this whole medium (she is my zine mommy/daddy) and helped me with my numerous questions, while Marie convinced me to get up at an open mic and read this issue’s erotic story!

I had honestly forgotten how smutty the language got, and there I was in front of the microphone, saying “cock” and “dick-hungry” and “semen” with rising embarrassment! I did manage to lean into my performance, getting more and more breathless as I worked up to the climax, and leaving the room a bit hot and bothered as I returned to my seat.

In a last-minute decision, I announced that the series is titled “seasons of lust” and the next issue will be called “hairy slutsmas”. I’m currently working on the cover, questioning whether I need to get a tree or borrow someone’s as a prop.

If you are interested in a copy of “pumpkin smut latte” or any upcoming zines, you can find me floating around Montreal, especially next week! I will be telling a new story at Confabulation (October 24 at the Phi Centre, click to buy tickets) and the theme is HAIR! My tale is full of teenage awkwardness, discovering identity, and removal treatments I will never attempt again!

You can also join my Patreon! Patrons in the $5 tier and above receive mailed copies of zines as they are produced, in addition to one zine per month of sponsorship until they are caught up. I am preparing “hairy slutsmas” to be ready for the beginning of December, but I will print it earlier if I can get it to where I want it to be. The second issue, like the first, is set to contain an erotic story, a poem, and an essay on gay hook-up apps.

I’m planning a subversive take on Valentine’s Day with “exes” though 😏

Work on the novel has resumed with gusto! I have completed two chapters in the last week and change, bringing me a step closer to finishing the rough draft. I have lots of ideas to keep me busy once I set this novel down for a rest, but I need a few final sprints to get me there. Fortunately, I am still able to work on this without feeling a sense of fatigue. In general, I am ready to be done with this draft, but I have enough energy remaining to keep me from half-assing it.

I’ve been playing with pictures

I have been playing around with images for my zine. I take a lot of pictures when the mood strikes me, and some of them are interesting to look at! I’ve been looking through my library for photos I’ve taken that can be linked to what I’ve written, and I think I have some very thematic imagery so far.

I haven’t played around with this sort of thing since I was a teenager, and it’s been a lot of fun making layer upon layer and trying different effects to find one that fits the mood of the image. I must resist the temptation to render everything in blue, pink, and purple!

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Image of an alleyway in Parc Ex, manipulated to be in shades of dark blue and fuchsia.

The full-size version of this image is up on my Patreon, which will be getting smuttier as of October 1! This means there will be naughty poetry, saucy prose, and some sexy photo manipulation. If this is something that excites you too, consider joining the $5 tier: anyone who does so will get a mailed copy of any zines produced during their patronage!

Patrons will get to see my work as I go, having access to unfinished projects and early access to finished materials. I also plan on updating more than once a week, so as soon as I’m excited about something, up it goes!

I’m also interested to hear what people would like to see in these zines! The first contains some erotic fiction, a poem with a content warning for sexual assault, and an essay on communicating in the modern era of hook-up apps. I’m surprising myself by not having much fiction happen here; I mean, I don’t exactly remember how my first sexual encounter in my first apartment went, but I think I captured the essence of the experience.

The content is currently in a Draft 1.5 space. I’m looking to continue polishing the text while I start to experiment with layout, and I expect I’ll have something concrete to show within the next couple of weeks.

For local followers, I will be carrying these around with me. For Patreon supporters, current and potential, no worries if you join after the zine is produced, I’ll have something in place to catch you up. I have so much to say about my little corner of queer life: racism, misogyny, serostigma, the awkward and varied conversations I’ve had about my polyamory… there’s enough material for many many zines!

Let’s talk about sex

Scrambling to catch up after a very busy week! The upside is I have more things to talk about!

I met with a couple of friends over the course of last week to talk about art, video games, writing, etc. First was Mx. Dietrich Squinkifer, who came over for tea and conversation. We chatted a lot about indie games, which I would like to explore in further detail. Many of these games contain a great deal of text, and I’ve been curious about either creating a text-based game, or writing the text for a different sort of experience.

They showed me Inky, and after following a brief tutorial, I’ve started writing an erotic dating game. I’ve already got the appearance of two of the potential partners, and I’m making it less of a Choose Your Own Stud and more of an interactive experience that begins in a bar, and as you go along you meet people that fate has set along your path.

(I’ve also tinkered with music in BoscaCeoil, and it sure feels fun to play with sounds again! Thanks, Squinky!)

Then I had coffee with Christina la Catastrophe, who I first met at February’s Confabulation. Her story of love included a face dildo, which earned a surprised bark of laughter from me. I’d followed her on instagram (@unbeknownst.to.u) and saw posts about her zines, so I messaged her after months of waiting and asked about them.

She brought several examples and told me a bit about her creative process, and how it has differed from zine to zine. I admired the photography and construction; one of them is made entirely of sexy images taken with a Game Boy Camera. Play, indeed.

This conversation linked with the interactive erotic encounters, and my desire to put together a bedroom book, and spat out a titillating idea…

Erotic zines. A couple pieces of hot fiction, a poem or two, maybe an essay… I can flex my creative muscles on something other than a main project (which honestly becomes a bit of a slog at various points throughout; I could use the distraction!) while expressing some of my thoughts about sex and masculinity and the queer world I live in. I’ll carry them around with me to events, sell them for whatever someone is willing to give, and make the world a sexier place. I’ve already put together a rough draft of a few things, this idea is so much fun to run with!