Zines

Leave a comment Posted on Advice, Writing, Zines

The importance of being kind

Of course, generally I mean in a large and societal sense, but today I’m focusing on right here in my home office. Which is half of my bedroom.

My free writing has been very angry lately. I don’t feel as if the people around me are behaving appropriately, I feel like the government is rushing things, and I have started thinking about when I get sick instead of if because hey, people need coffee for their selfies, right? The economy must go on.

It is difficult to find value in personal productivity without hearing that word in the voice of corporate culture. I cannot think of being productive without guilt being nearby (not productive enough, not efficient enough, not working hard enough even when it’s for my own benefit). It’s been like a dog chasing its tail in my head for the past week, and everything seems to take so much more energy than before.

I have been able to get some small things done. That list does not include a weekly blog post. I have to literally give myself permission to lower the bar and post this random confession, that’s how deeply ingrained the desire to produce is. (Note to self: waste some time and feel good about it.)

So here I am to say there’s nothing new to show this week. Things are moving behind the scenes and I hope to be able to make “untouched” available next week as a free download. If I cannot complete the zine, I will at least post a bit of it here to give you a taste.

Please be kind with yourselves as well. Listen to your bodies, make time and space to meditate, breathe in some fresh air if you can. I have never appreciated my balcony as much as I do now.

Leave a comment Posted on Coronavirus 2020, Novels, QWF Mentorship, Short Stories, Writing

Distance

Is anyone else feeling very Lady of Shalott these days? Locked in a tower, cursed to see the real world only through a magic mirror? I appreciate that it’s for our collective safety, and I feel fortunate to be in a position where I can stay home. Still, it’s fair to be half sick of shadows.

Luckily, it has never been easier to reach out to people I care about. That is, when I have the energy to spare. A lot of my efforts go into keeping myself clean and fed, quieting the onslaught of information and shifting opinions based on new evidence, and responding to messages I receive. I have had moments of total shutdown, I have experienced the curious phenomenon of March lasting a hundred days and April only three, and I have come to the month of May with a stronger sense of purpose.

Let’s call it a mourning period for the Old Normal.

In the New Normal, at least the one we have created so far, many things are still carrying on. I have been continuing meetings with my mentor, April Ford. Her first novel Carousel is out May 14 and available for preorder where books are found! (Please consider purchasing directly from the publisher or your local bookseller.)

Work on Project Claire continues! For the first half of the mentorship, we focused on getting the first three chapters presentation-ready for a pitch. The book is pitched. I am waiting for good news or my very first rejection letter, and either one is an important milestone in the life of an author. Either way, I’m happy about where the beginning of the novel stands.

It also has a title, but I’m choosing to be superstitious about it.

Revisiting erotic scenes in the novel has me thinking about physical contact, and those thoughts are finding their home in a new zine. I feel very good about the story and essay so far. The goal is to have it available for free here as a PDF, with physical copies available for $5 PWYC (an internet search says coronavirus can live on paper for up to five days, please handle mail with caution). I will also carry them around with me once it’s safe to be out among the people.

Speaking of smut, if you’ve been curious about “pumpkin smut latte,” I’ve posted the story “welcome to parc ex” and it is not safe for work. I read it Monday evening at my mentor’s sex and intimacy workshop, then we had a nice conversation about writing process and inspiration and other sexy stories.

What’s the word for the feeling of reading erotic material in your bedroom for an audience?

I’ve signed up for a distance version of Shut Up & Write taking place Saturday, same day as the Violet Hour Book Club. (I had really better be further along in the book by the time this goes live; at the moment, I’ve read the introduction.)

Having something in my agenda not only gives me events to look forward to, it sort of grounds me in time. I’ve printed out a calendar so I can tick off the days, I’m turning the pages of my day calendar with calming quotes, I am trying to prevent that feeling of drifting though the hours with no real sense of which direction I want to go in. It’s okay if I can’t be productive right now, I’ve given myself that permission.

But if I can be, that’s where I’d like to put my energy. There is work I want to do.

Leave a comment Posted on Erotic Zines, seasons of lust, Writing

Seasons of lust

“pumpkin smut latte” is out, it’s printed, and it’s already time to order more?! I’m down to four copies and two of those are spoken for, so I definitely need to replenish my stock!

Special thanks to Christina la Catastrophe and Marie Cornellier! Christina got me into this whole medium (she is my zine mommy/daddy) and helped me with my numerous questions, while Marie convinced me to get up at an open mic and read this issue’s erotic story!

I had honestly forgotten how smutty the language got, and there I was in front of the microphone, saying “cock” and “dick-hungry” and “semen” with rising embarrassment! I did manage to lean into my performance, getting more and more breathless as I worked up to the climax, and leaving the room a bit hot and bothered as I returned to my seat.

In a last-minute decision, I announced that the series is titled “seasons of lust” and the next issue will be called “hairy slutsmas”. I’m currently working on the cover, questioning whether I need to get a tree or borrow someone’s as a prop.

If you are interested in a copy of “pumpkin smut latte” or any upcoming zines, you can find me floating around Montreal, especially next week! I will be telling a new story at Confabulation (October 24 at the Phi Centre, click to buy tickets) and the theme is HAIR! My tale is full of teenage awkwardness, discovering identity, and removal treatments I will never attempt again!

You can also join my Patreon! Patrons in the $5 tier and above receive mailed copies of zines as they are produced, in addition to one zine per month of sponsorship until they are caught up. I am preparing “hairy slutsmas” to be ready for the beginning of December, but I will print it earlier if I can get it to where I want it to be. The second issue, like the first, is set to contain an erotic story, a poem, and an essay on gay hook-up apps.

I’m planning a subversive take on Valentine’s Day with “exes” though 😏

Work on the novel has resumed with gusto! I have completed two chapters in the last week and change, bringing me a step closer to finishing the rough draft. I have lots of ideas to keep me busy once I set this novel down for a rest, but I need a few final sprints to get me there. Fortunately, I am still able to work on this without feeling a sense of fatigue. In general, I am ready to be done with this draft, but I have enough energy remaining to keep me from half-assing it.

Leave a comment Posted on Erotic Zines, poetry, Short Stories, Writing, Zines

I’ve been playing with pictures

I have been playing around with images for my zine. I take a lot of pictures when the mood strikes me, and some of them are interesting to look at! I’ve been looking through my library for photos I’ve taken that can be linked to what I’ve written, and I think I have some very thematic imagery so far.

I haven’t played around with this sort of thing since I was a teenager, and it’s been a lot of fun making layer upon layer and trying different effects to find one that fits the mood of the image. I must resist the temptation to render everything in blue, pink, and purple!

alley parc ex scaled

Image of an alleyway in Parc Ex, manipulated to be in shades of dark blue and fuchsia.

The full-size version of this image is up on my Patreon, which will be getting smuttier as of October 1! This means there will be naughty poetry, saucy prose, and some sexy photo manipulation. If this is something that excites you too, consider joining the $5 tier: anyone who does so will get a mailed copy of any zines produced during their patronage!

Patrons will get to see my work as I go, having access to unfinished projects and early access to finished materials. I also plan on updating more than once a week, so as soon as I’m excited about something, up it goes!

I’m also interested to hear what people would like to see in these zines! The first contains some erotic fiction, a poem with a content warning for sexual assault, and an essay on communicating in the modern era of hook-up apps. I’m surprising myself by not having much fiction happen here; I mean, I don’t exactly remember how my first sexual encounter in my first apartment went, but I think I captured the essence of the experience.

The content is currently in a Draft 1.5 space. I’m looking to continue polishing the text while I start to experiment with layout, and I expect I’ll have something concrete to show within the next couple of weeks.

For local followers, I will be carrying these around with me. For Patreon supporters, current and potential, no worries if you join after the zine is produced, I’ll have something in place to catch you up. I have so much to say about my little corner of queer life: racism, misogyny, serostigma, the awkward and varied conversations I’ve had about my polyamory… there’s enough material for many many zines!

Leave a comment Posted on Erotic Zines, Writing, Zines

Let’s talk about sex

Scrambling to catch up after a very busy week! The upside is I have more things to talk about!

I met with a couple of friends over the course of last week to talk about art, video games, writing, etc. First was Mx. Dietrich Squinkifer, who came over for tea and conversation. We chatted a lot about indie games, which I would like to explore in further detail. Many of these games contain a great deal of text, and I’ve been curious about either creating a text-based game, or writing the text for a different sort of experience.

They showed me Inky, and after following a brief tutorial, I’ve started writing an erotic dating game. I’ve already got the appearance of two of the potential partners, and I’m making it less of a Choose Your Own Stud and more of an interactive experience that begins in a bar, and as you go along you meet people that fate has set along your path.

(I’ve also tinkered with music in BoscaCeoil, and it sure feels fun to play with sounds again! Thanks, Squinky!)

Then I had coffee with Christina la Catastrophe, who I first met at February’s Confabulation. Her story of love included a face dildo, which earned a surprised bark of laughter from me. I’d followed her on instagram (@unbeknownst.to.u) and saw posts about her zines, so I messaged her after months of waiting and asked about them.

She brought several examples and told me a bit about her creative process, and how it has differed from zine to zine. I admired the photography and construction; one of them is made entirely of sexy images taken with a Game Boy Camera. Play, indeed.

This conversation linked with the interactive erotic encounters, and my desire to put together a bedroom book, and spat out a titillating idea…

Erotic zines. A couple pieces of hot fiction, a poem or two, maybe an essay… I can flex my creative muscles on something other than a main project (which honestly becomes a bit of a slog at various points throughout; I could use the distraction!) while expressing some of my thoughts about sex and masculinity and the queer world I live in. I’ll carry them around with me to events, sell them for whatever someone is willing to give, and make the world a sexier place. I’ve already put together a rough draft of a few things, this idea is so much fun to run with!